Without you, I'm lost
by SoaringEagle11
Summary: A possibly fatal sacrifice during battle leaves Gemma desperately fighting for her life and Summer wondering how she could ever survive without her.


When I wake up this morning, she is beside me, curled up against me peacefully.

When I awake, she is _there._

Life is perfect with her.

I don't want anything to change.

Gemma stirs slightly as I lean over and gently plant a kiss on her forehead. Her hand reaches for mine as she slowly opens her eyes. I toy with her yellow-and-silver bracelet for a moment before completely wrapping my arms around her. I had bought us the matching customized bracelets with our Ranger helmet charms for Gemma's birthday.

"Morning, Summer," she murmurs sleepily.

I smile as she sits up and blinks in the light. I don't even know how I survived as long as I have without someone like Gemma. She's so perfect in her own way...

"What's up, girls?" I look up as my girlfriend's brother enters the room.

"Hey," Gemma sighs.

"Dr. K has asked us to meet in the lab for a few things," Gem explains. "Vasquez just returned from the wasteland and Dr. K has some bad news."

"What kind of news?" I ask.

"She won't tell me. Dr. K has hidden her until the rest of us come."

I yawn. "We're coming. Give us a minute."

"Okay." Gem backs out of the room and then Gemma and I get dressed.

"I hope everything's okay," Gemma whispered as we walked out and she and I soon approached the lab. Gem, Scott, Flynn, and Dillon were already there.

"Where's Ziggy?" I ask.

"He already knows..." Dr. K choked out, slowly getting up from her desk. "It's bad..."

"Knows what? What's bad?"

"Vasquez was attacked by General Shifter out in the wasteland," she sighed. "She had lost her only weapon earlier in her mission and the fight went worse than she had thought. It was near Corinth anyway. But even though she managed to make it back, she... she..."

I was getting a bad feeling about this. "You don't mean..."

"She... Vasquez is gone. She... died in Ziggy's arms.

Even though I had know two seconds before, the weight of what she had just said hit me like a brick wall. I staggered and Gemma grasped my arm.

 _It can't be! Vasquez, you can't be gone!_

When I had said goodbye to Vasquez the day she left, it hadn't occurred to me it would be the last day I'd ever see her. Vasquez was my best friend, the team was my family, and Gemma was my whole world. But with the loss of Vasquez, even Gemma can't calm me down. _My best friend is gone..._

Then everything gets worse. The alarm begins to blare.

Dr. K moved back to her desk. "It's General Shifter."

 _No, no, NO! Not here! Not now!_

This couldn't have happened at a worse moment. But we have to fight.

"And I have to avenge Vasquez's death," I mutter under my breath. Gemma hears me, though.

"Let's do this," I whisper. Then I begin to run, morphing as I went. Gemma slipped off of me and I can hear her panicked cry behind me as she attempts to call me back.

But nothing could stop me now. I run to the center of the town, near the wreckage caused by the last attack, to where General Shifter had been seen.

"Only one Ranger come to fight me?" he taunts me.

"One is all you need!" I roared.

"Please. I will destroy you just like I did to your friend!"

"YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT!" I roar as loud as I can. I'm so angry that I even forget to morph as I charge at him. That was a bad move, for he has definitely improved his armor and my first blow does nothing. He strikes back and sends me to the ground. I look down at my right arm, which has suddenly become fiery with pain. It's bleeding. Fiercely.

I don't give in to it though. I can't. I have to do this. For her. For Vasquez.

"Summer, don't!" I hear Gemma's voice from far behind me, but I don't care. I get up and charge again, still not caring that every time I hit Shifter, my skin was cut even more and blood washes over me.

 _I'm sorry, Gemma, but I have to avenge her..._

Eventually, Shifter sends me down again and it takes me longer to get up this time. He lifts up a blaster and when he sets it, I can see that it's set to cause fatal damage. _Is that how he destroyed Vasquez?_

"SUMMER!" As soon as General Shifter fires, he disappears and I feel something slam into me and block me from the blast. For a moment, I see black. Then I hear an earsplitting scream and blood fills my eyes again. Then the weight tumbles off of me and the realization hits me like the sky is crashing down.

"GEMMA, NO!!!"

When I see her take the blast for me, my heart shatters into a trillion pieces. I can't breathe anymore. I can't move. I can't...

"Gemma..." When I clear the blood from my eyes, I realize that it's not mine.

It's hers.

It's all hers.

I can't believe this.

It's all I can see.

Only the blood.

It spills from her body.

Or is it mine?

I stand up. There's a long slash on her side, leaking scarlet blood like crazy. It doesn't seem to be as bad as I thought; the first hit that created it could have sent the other splash of blood across me. It's still _bad_ though.

 _No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!_

I press down on her wound, not caring about my bleeding arm. _The others can't be far behind!_ Then I sink into the ground and pull her into my arms.

A loud yell from farther away tells me that they've arrived. It's Gem.

"What- what happened?" he manages to gasp out.

"I had to fight," I murmur. Tears were beginning to fall from my eyes and I can't and didn't want to stop them. "I had to avenge Vasquez. But... I was so angry I didn't morph. That was the biggest mistake of my life. She... she saved me..."

"It hurts..." My eyes widen as Gemma twitches in my arms, her face twisting in pain as she becomes conscious of her surroundings again. "Summer... you're okay."

"Gemma, you saved my life."

"Summer, please... take me back to the lab. I know that when people are dying, they say something wise like to let them go. But I don't want to die." Her voice rises to a wail as she speaks the next sentence. "I'm not ready to leave you!" She takes in a shaky breath. "I don't... want to die... like Vasquez... please... take me back..." Her eyes fill with pain. "I love you, Summer..." Then her eyes close again.

"NO!"

 **2 weeks later...**

"Dr. K, can't you tell me anything? It's been two freaking weeks!"

"No, and don't ask me again!" I'm startled by the force in her voice. But I have to admit, I've already asked her like ten times in the past hour. There's no excuse for it though.

 _My girlfriend is hurt and dying and nearly sacrificed her LIFE for me! And Dr. K won't let me anywhere near her, even though two weeks have already passed. Can't she just TELL me already?!_

I'm not ready to let her go. Not yet. I stiffly walk back over to the doors of the lab, where Gem and Dillon are waiting for me.

"Are you okay?" Gem inquires.

"I doubt you are. I mean... she's your sister."

"But she loves you more than anything. I always trust her judgement and she chose to save you."

"Wait, why'd you bring Dillon here then. Doesn't he kind of hate Gemma?"

"I don't hate her," Dillon snaps. "But I'm really grateful to her for saving you."

It's common knowledge in the team that Dillon loves me like a sister, but he was wary of Gemma when she first came with Gem to the team. He wasn't too pleased when I chose her as my girlfriend, but he soon came to accept it. I know he'll always be there for me.

"She did save me. Did you find out anything?"

"Yeah."

"What is it?"

"She's alive, but... barely..."

 _Oh no..._ Now I can't get past that. Tears form in my eyes, blurring my vision, and I stumble. Dillon goes to catch me, but at this point, I can't breathe. I can't move. I feel nothing.

"Summer!" I hear Dillon call to me and then everything vanishes. Darkness becomes all I see.

A moment later, I hear a mixture of voices call to me and I wake up in the lab, where Dillon and Dr. K are standing beside me. I'm laying on the examination table.

"Are you okay?" Dr. K asks me.

I see Dillon whisper something into her ear and then everything comes rushing back.

"Gemma!" I gasp. "Where is she?"

"She's here," Dr. K responds.

"Can I see her? Is she okay?"

"She's in your room. Be careful with her. Gem's already there. It might be safe to sleep with Dillon tonight instead so that she can get time to rest."

"She's alive, right?"

"Dillon told you already. She's lost so much blood, it's too soon to tell whether she'll live or not. Something happened with her body that caused it to not be able to make as much blood as it used to."

"Will she be okay?"

"I- I don't know."

"I have to know if she's okay!" With great effort, I heave myself up off the table. My right arm is still hurting under the bandage, but when I begin to walk towards my room, I start to feel a sting in my chest. As I get closer, my insides begin to burn and I feel my throat tighten.

 _I know what's happening. This isn't my pain. It's Gemma's._

I just know I have to be there for her. However, as I get closer to the room, the pain intensifies. When I finally get to the door, though, it nearly overwhelms me. _She can't be dead... I will never let her die like Vasquez..._

I reach out and open the door, ignoring the fiery pain inside my body. Gemma lies motionless on the bed, eyes tightly closed. I can tell she feels the pain, and as I walk over to the bed, it burns inside me more than ever as I lean over her and grasp her hand in mine.

 _I can't live without you..._

Soon, I climb into bed beside her and securely wrap my arms around her under the covers, careful of the large stitched-up cut on her side. Her skin is so pale and when she barely manages to lift her head to rest it on my shoulder, I see that there is a dark red scar marring her neck.

"Gemma, I don't want to lose you," I whisper to her. "God, I love you so much..." She lifts her head to look at me and I press my lips against hers in a passionate kiss. When it's over, she gives me a weak smile. Her voice is barely a whisper when she speaks.

"Thank you so much for caring about me."

"I will always care for you, no matter what."

"I- I love you too..."

She shivers in my arms and I curl my body around her more. "I'm so sorry you have to go through this."

"It's not that bad..."

"Don't pretend that it's not hurting you. I can tell you're in a lot of pain right now. I feel it inside me. I literally feel your pain."

"You shouldn't be feeling it though." Now she looks scared.

But there's still that one question I need to ask her. "Why did you save me?"

"Summer, you already know the answer. I love you and I would do anything for you."

"But you could have escaped this," I protest. "You haven't died yet. I could have been the one experiencing this pain like you are if you had just let me get hit."

"But Summer, you were already hurt when Shifter tried to blast you. You could have been killed!"

"I'd prefer that over you dying!"

Gemma sighs. "I'd rather die than watch it happen to you."

"Gemma, I love you more than life itself. I never would want you to go through this."

"I'm sorry, but... can we go to sleep now? I want to get away from the pain for a little while."

"Anything for you." Gemma cuddles in closer to me and we both close our eyes. As I fall asleep with her in my arms, I pray that she will end up waking up once again.

I lost count of how long we sleep, but I do know that when I wake up, she's gone. My Gemma is _gone._

 _She's not dead, is she?_

When I awake, she's not _there._

I can't breathe.

This can't be happening.

I swing my legs over the side of my bed and hop out. I'm already running before my feet even hit the ground and before I know it, I'm at the lab once more.

"Dr. K, where is she?" I call. I have to admit that I'm kind of on the verge of hysterics right now, so my voice sounds weird, but Dr. K manages to call back to me.

"It's okay, she's with me!" I hear her say. I enter the lab and the doors quickly close behind me. Gemma is right there, laying immobilized on the examination table.

"What happened?" I ask.

"She came to me early in the morning, complaining about how much pain she was in," Dr. K explains, tapping on her computer. It was then that I notice the thin tube in my girlfriend's arm. "I'm trying to figure out what's causing it."

"Will- will she be okay?"

Dr. K looks up. "She'll be fine," she murmurs. "At least I think so."

"Wh- what do you mean?"

"That giant gash the blast made on her... I don't think it's ever going to heal properly. The blast also damaged a few of her nerves and unfortunately for her, that pain can't be quenched forever."

I'm silent, hearing nothing she says next. My Gemma- _my_ Gemma- will never heal. But... at least... she's still with me."

Dr. K sees the panicked look on my face. "But don't panic; I think I can do something about it."

Hoping that's true, I walk over to Gemma and she slowly opens her eyes.

"Hey, Summer," she says shyly. "I'm sorry I worried you."

"You're fine," I reply, helping her off the table and giving her a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"I'll be okay," she whispers to me, returning the kiss. "Everything will be okay. I'm still here."

"I'm glad you are."

Dr. K goes out of the lab for a moment and I take the quick time to steal a lustful kiss on the lips from Gemma. She wraps her arms around me, holding nothing back. We stay connected in the lust for a while, breaking apart as soon as Dr. K comes back in the lab.

"Want to take this into our room?" Gemma breathes into my ear.

"Can you do it without the pain hitting you?"

"Dr. K gave me some medicine that knocks it off for a few hours. I'll be fine."

"That's good news."

We kiss again when we get out of Dr. K's sight. Then we spend the night together like we always do, but this time, it's special. The most special night of our lives.

It doesn't last long though. We end up having to live like this for a while. Eventually, we all defeat Venjix, but it doesn't erase Gemma's scars. We eventually get married. I take care of Gemma every single day. I always will for the foreseeable future.

 _Gemma, you're my everything._

 _You love me for who I am._

 _You're always there for me._

 _When we die, I hope we die together,_

 _because I never want us to be torn apart._

 _~Summer Landsdown_

 _Summer, I'm grateful for what you've done for me._

 _I'll never leave you as long as I live._

 _No matter what, we have survived together._

 _And I will die with you at my side._

 _~Gemma_


End file.
